HOMEcoming’s Mini Radical Sabbatical: Decolonize, Dismantle, Dive Deep

On Self-Care vs. Self-Preservation

I am feeling called to a game of Truth or Dare. 

I would like to invite you to consider playing with me. To ease your suspicions, I’ll go first.

I pick Truth.

I looooove getting my feet rubbed and my back and if I’m completely honest, I just love getting my whole body worked over; I was born to indulge for hours, in elaborate, decadent, leisurely meals prepared by someone else; I am always down for a plane ticket the hell outta the States.

Not racy enough for you? Fine.

I pick Truth again.

I also looooove intimate, stimulating conversation, candlelit salt soaks, making a lovely meal for Self or loved ones, riding my bike, and blasting music in the car while singing at the top of my lungs.

Notice a difference between what I loooooove and what I also looooooove?  

Capitalism would have you believe that in order to keep going, to make that paper, to be a responsible adult living the American dream, you should care for yourself by using your savings or charging up a credit card to: have a pampering experience; purchase that item you’ve been eyeing that is going to make you so happy once you have it; enjoy your hard-earned money with whatever it can buy, all so that you can go right back to working hard for that money. Sound about right?

Here’s another Truth. While bumbling and stumbling and settling into my Radical Sabbatical I learned that as much as I have enjoyed taking great care to nurture and nourish others, I wasn’t taking great care to nurture and nourish myself. I discovered that roasting and preparing beets could move me to tears. I heard my body say it longed for tea and needed a break from coffee. I responded to a new need to soak in a hot bath. I leaned into the winter season in the way that nature shows us, snowfall after snowfall (for some), slowing way down, turning deeply inward, inadvertently fasting, noticing the many ways I could tend to Self all by myself, in nature, or in the company of others who could appreciate a slowdown. Imagine what those acts of care cost me?

One of the seeds that was revealed to me this past winter was that while self-care can sometimes feel out-of-reach, costly, or for those hippie dippy people, self-preservation on the other hand, ain’t for the faint of heart.

To keep us on course to liberation, Audre Lorde gifted us this manifesto:

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

I am not here to judge or criticize how you take care of you. I am here to offer some questions to contemplate:

Are your self-care practices effective? Do they have short-term or long-term effects?

Do your self-care practices allow you to know satisfaction? Pleasure? Peace? Play? Or another desirable feeling/sensation?

Are your self-care practices sustainable?

Do your self-care practices feel like a band-aid or a salve?

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. I hope your responses can shine a light on the ways in which you have been caring for yourself and who your self-care practices are ultimately serving.

I Dare you to think about something you would enjoy having, doing, experiencing that will cost you little to no money. If you’re having difficulty thinking of something make sure that you are resourced–rested, fed, minimally distracted–and see what ideas surface. You may have to get creative, maybe even stretch or give yourself permission to imagine the impossible. Write it down just for you. Say it aloud just for you. Try one just for you.

If this conversation resonates with you and you’re in the Louisville area and feel called to share in space and conversation, please join us at HOMEcoming’s Mini Radical Sabbatical: Decolonize, Dismantle, Dive Deep on Sunday November 3rd for some tending to Self in community. We will be focusing on Self-Care vs. Self-Preservation.

I’m looking forward to facilitating thoughtful, strengths-based, spiritually embodied discussion and practices about these questions together. What you discover may have the potential to transmute what no longer serves you, which may in turn prepare you to decolonize, dismantle, and dive deep into our collective potential for healing and liberation. A tall order? Yes, if we are alone. But together we can make lighter this needed work.

My offering to you in our Radical Sabbatical:

· Co-created, sacred space with nourishing snacks and hot tea

· Engaging conversation about the systemic issues we all face together/individually

· Embodied practices you can take with you to ground your daily life

This is the fourth session of a weekly series this fall, so check the calendar and if this date doesn’t work for you, please do check other dates as well. And if you’d like to have a HOMEcoming Radical Sabbatical experience for your private group or team, I am accepting bookings through 2025.

Mad love and care,

Arlene

P.S.

I welcome you to contemplate and be in conversation with community, reflecting on the questions above in the comments. I’m interested in hearing from you.